Yes, still waiting.

OOOOHHHH...it's been awhile since an update, huh? I have SO MANY things in my head and on my heart, but I have not had the words for them. I still don't have the words, but I wanted to share with you that our home study was finally fully approved by our placement agency, Dillon (located in Tulsa, OK) and last week, a hard copy was SHIPPED TO KOREA! We're coming up on one year since our first phone call with Dillon, to apply for the South Korean adoption program. I remember that week because COVID-19 (or as we were calling it, "corona" at that time) was just making the U.S. news and it was the week before our kids' school closed for virtual learning. Little did we all know, LIFE was about to change in some big ways.

I've really struggled with how long this whole process takes. The home study felt like it would never end. Korea, especially, has extensive home study requirements...and the fact that we completed it all during the worldwide pandemic, I think is something to be proud of. I also continually remind myself that we are still very much on track with timeline expectations for adoption from Korea, even under non-pandemic standards.

I spent some time a couple weeks ago, VERY down on myself. Somewhere along the way, I had subconsciously convinced myself that [approved home study = immediate referral]. "Referral" meaning MATCH to a child. This is not the case. When our agency called to let us know the home study was in and ready to go, they informed us that average referral wait time is about 3-4 months. So...not immediate. Not even relatively immediate, especially by my definition! My heart sunk when I heard this. I started shuffling papers and folders and even googling other adopting families' experiences. Apparently, 3-4 months is an average wait for a referral - even optimistic, considering the COVID situation. I knew that was a normal wait time. I read that over a year ago. I have an actual printed timeline of everything involved in a Korean adoption, start to finish. So WHY on earth was I so shocked and disappointed to "find out" this information?? I really don't know. I think my expectations left reality for a minute and joined up with what my heart really wants. I want this to happen and I want it to happen on MY timeline (which is immediate). I want to know if we have a son or daughter, how old they are, what their little smile looks like, how their voice sounds...I want us to be together. The end. As I said, I was really down on myself for having such ridiculous and unrealistic expectations and allowing myself to believe that we were closer than we were. The good news is that I've come to terms with the real timeline and the better news is that travel restrictions may be better for us later in the year anyway! The best news is that this was never on my timeline and God's already worked through every detail of OUR MATCH. We still have immigration paperwork to work through and travel scenarios/childcare to plan. Our family is working on learning Korean (well, at least some important phrases and words to speak) and I'm trying to learn to read Hangul. In other words, we will keep busy as we wait!

What's 3 or 4 more months? We can do this! Thank you for your prayers, financial support, and just cheering us on! The Paschals will be a party of 6 soon enough! - B