That's why it's worth so much.

I gotta just put this out there: the film, "You've Got Mail", no matter how dated it feels with AOL, dial-up, and chat rooms...has aged well. I suppose it helps that the film is actually based on an original play from 1937 and adapted to two different films in the 40s. In '98, Nora Ephron put her own spin on it and added Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan - the rest is history, in my book. I love it and I don't even care who knows it! It's a recipe for what Joe Fox might call "the I-ching" of romcoms. All technology aside, the story is a CLASSIC. Anyway. This isn't a film review. But I do have a point. I was tossing and turning last night, trying to remember where I last saw my kids' birth certificates (moms, you can probably relate!). I've been looking for them going on a month now. I need to send copies to our agency and just kept thinking they would turn up. So in spite of being dog tired AND having taken melatonin, I still couldn't sleep. Naturally, as when you know you really need to go to sleep because that alarm is going off in 4 hours, my mind was all over the place. Enter random movie scenes...

In this scene from "You've Got Mail," George (right), an employee of Shop Around the Corner, is showing big bad Fox Books rival, Joe, a valuable book with "hand tipped illustrations". Joe carefully looks it over and comments, "And that's why it costs so much?" George quickly corrects him: "That's why it's worth so much."

I've been wanting to share more about the process of international adoption and, frankly, explain the costs involved. If you're not familiar with it, the requirements and dollar amounts may seem overwhelming - downright crazy! And even if you are familiar with the process, you still may find it overwhelming and crazy! The bottom line is: it's worthy and worthwhile. Like George said, "It's worth so much."

Here is an overview of process and cost: * First, we put in an initial inquiry with our agency; this included basic info, contact info, and didn't cost anything. They followed up with us with a couple phone calls. Paul and I spoke together with the Director of the South Korea adoption program. She learned about us and we learned about how adoptions work from Korea to the U.S.

* Next, we filled out a program application. We answered a questionnaire, filled out more info, send in copies of some documents. Our agency reviewed it, accepted it, then sent it on to the Korea side of their agency. No cost for this either. Once they reviewed and accepted it, we could begin our home study application - this application is MUCH more extensive.

* The home study application AND the actual home study are what we are working on simultaneously now. Our HS application is through our adoption agency (based in Tulsa), while our HS is through a different agency (based in Grand Rapids). We needed a local agency to oversee the home study portion, as it involves in-person visits. * The HS and HS application both require physicals for every family member, psych evals for Paul and I, immunization records, a total of 7 references, statements from our employers, financial records (every penny to our names and every penny going out each month), background checks for everywhere we've lived since we were 18, FBI fingerprinting, a full panel of blood work for Paul and I, copies of identification docs, CPR/first aid certification, safety plans for our home, safety plans for our family, notorized guardianship docs, a total 24 hours of adoption education, extensive questionnaires about our family histories/relationships/parenting philosophies/, questionnaires about what potential birth defects/trauma history we are willing to accept, photos of us/our pets/our home, and lots of forms giving our consent to full disclosure on everything.

At the conclusion of all the paperwork fun, we will have a person from our local agency come out to our home to speak with us and our kids, and to inspect our home. There are usually 3 of these visits, but with COV-ID, it looks like we will do 2 of them via Zoom. The costs for the HSA, HS, various appointments and tests will come to a total of at least $12,000. This includes our co-pays, fingerprinting fees, psych evals, the administration fees of 2 adoption agencies and their social workers, our education hours.

The good news here is that once that home study is accepted, we are eligible to apply for grants!

* After the home study is complete, our adoption agency will begin the international process of submitting our application to the U.S. government to adopt, as well as the process of emigration permission to the Korean government. Then we will receive our match! Yes - the assignment of our child! This is an exciting point - but an expensive one. Right around $20,000. This includes more administration fees (mostly on the Korean side) as well as translation fees, and care of our child. * Next, Paul and I will travel to Korea to meet our child. We will spend a week there, during which we will have the opportunity to spend time with our child, and also be handling some more paperwork. The cost of this could vary, depending on flight costs, but would easily be $7000. I want to add that we are especially excited to make this trip - not only to meet our child, which is HUGE - but because Paul has never been back to Korea since his adoption. I know this will be a very special moment for him.

* That leaves about $3000 for international court fees. * Then a second trip, during which we will bring our child home. A truly special day!...and another $7000, at least.

* There are some "odds and ends" expenses that will follow the adoption. We will have more visits after our child is placed with us and some final court processes.

I hope this sheds some light on why IT COSTS SO MUCH...but moreover, why IT'S WORTH SO MUCH. The paperwork can feel invasive and redundant; the expenses can feel outrageous! But this is a legal process. It involves two countries, 3 agencies, several professional employees administering their parts of the legal process, translators, medical appointments, travel, visas, etc...over the course of about 18 months. Oversight and accountability are important - we are dealing with children's lives. When I think about human trafficking and evil people who would exploit children for their own profit, I'm thankful to pay for professional services to keep the children safe and the process on the up and up! And the happy ending to my story today is that I found my children's birth certificates first thing this morning! Thanks for reading! - B

GoFundMe here: https://www.gofundme.com/f/korean-orphan-adopting-korean-orphan