On Father's Day

Today is Father’s Day. I love being a dad. It’s a gift, a privilege, and an honor. My kids bring me so much joy, laughter, and love. Yes, they are tiring at times and even naughty too, but the good things about parenting far outweigh the bad. Did I tell you that I love being a dad?

I can’t help but think about that little orphan out there that our family will adopt soon. The thought of any child without a permanent family or home makes me really sad. Yes, people can be resilient and survive without parents and siblings, but not having a loving home changes a person.

Parenting isn’t easy and adoption isn’t easy. Both of them together pose some unique challenges. I’m committed, though. My adoptive mom and dad were committed to me and I can’t wait to be a rock in someone else’s life. It takes a selfless, humble, and compassionate person to want to parent a child that isn’t their own as their own. I am not saying that I am that person yet, but I hope that the Lord is changing and shaping me into that person. I know of other people who have dived into the challenge and adopted many orphans. These heroes didn’t allow the paperwork, financial obstacles, and opinions of others sway them from giving a child a chance to thrive, heal, and be loved.

A lot of you know that I am a runner. Growing up, running helped me cope with all that was raging in my life emotionally, especially during my teenage years. Honestly, as I was running for sport, I was also running away from my problems and from the people in my life who could have helped me. I was afraid, ashamed, embarrassed, depressed, and lonely. I’m not sure many people knew that. One of the reasons I took counseling in college was to get a grasp on why I felt the way I felt. I was looking for a way out of the dark lonely place I was entrapped. Being a successful runner and student didn’t change the fact that I was hurting on the inside.

Today, I really pour myself into my marriage, parenting, and ministry. Why? I believe that major problems can occur in those pivotal years, from infant through teen, if we are not raised in a supportive, loving, and strong family home. Abuse or neglect can be devastating to a person. It’s hard to say how being abandoned as a toddler affected me, but I have a few memories that I can’t seem to shake from my past.

I have many memories of waking up as a child and finding my pillow drenched in tears; I had another nightmare that my adopted mom drove me in a car to a desolate place (just cinder blocks and rubble everywhere) in a big city and dropped me off by the curbside and drove off. Of course, my adopted mom would never do this, but the fear of abandonment was deep within me, from a past I couldn't consciously remember.

Another memory I’d like to share: once, around 8 years old, I got in trouble because my mom caught me eating food out of trash can at a local park. No adult could understand the fear I had about where my next meal might come from and the shame I felt about asking for food when I was hungry.

This is what trauma does to a child, and the lifelong affect it can have. I hope to be a dad who can understand and help minimize these effects.

Am I motivated? Yes. Am I ready? Yes. I’m not running away from my problems and from people any longer. I am ready to face my fears and run towards the orphan that needs a good father. I’m ready for the marathon they call parenting an orphan. Marathons aren’t easy; I know all about that because I’ve done a few of them, but they are so rewarding. Not because they are easy but because it takes tremendous endurance, grit, and passion.

Did I tell you that I love being a father?

GoFundMe here:

https://www.gofundme.com/f/korean-orphan-adopting-korean-orphan